gamer pig test blog

So Many Lies Currently the former managing director has been piling lie after lie. It has gotten so extreme that the lies are so incredible - in a meeting i was only there to witness, and not speak he said i sad he needs to be escorted by guards. One it is a lie that I spoke, another is that its a lie I would say that without having been given the order to have such happen. - that the i promised former recruitment head at he would be retained if he sold the MD out, just when i had 2 other witnesses and documented the meeting. I was warned early on, but to lie that much when there was that much evidence, witnesses, and contradiction to my character. - he made his wife plead for his job to the COO, and note she doesnt know about the call girl he hired as his personal EA and the nights he claimed he was at work which he never appeared in. We realized she was a call girl when we dug up her 201 file that was "lost" she failled all tests, and was clearly hired to be fucked. - He...

I track my level of fatigue. I realize that when I'm tired I have low self control and can not think through consequences as farther reaching. I also note the correlation of me being tired and getting sick. This has made be biased in a way that I think my energy levels is my health. My mental model of health or in the ORGS, my Constitution, is like a battery that keeps charging. As similes go,  its like a Lipoly Battery when the energy levels are low: there is a chance to take damage, in my case get sick. I've observed and hypothesis that the reason one gets sick because of Rain, Sweat, the Cold etc... is the stress and energy involuntarily expended because of the changing conditions. The body uses its natural metabolic activities to regulate temperature and conditions, each change takes energy. Extremes take a lot of energy to adapt to. One important element in the thesis is that we are not aware of the tiny changes of o...

he babbles more now he's been giving us books to read to him. he likes yellow a lot hes being more adventurous and has begun walking, leaning on he wall and door frame for two or more steps.  he can do the writing grip on his own sometimes.  he has amazing device navigational skills he knows the programs he wants to open: fruit ninja, piano, the videos, pix, picture book, etc.  he can pick out music and videos he attempts to play fruit ninja he figures out some of the apps. his tricks bless/mano "up here" close-open identify head identify nose can stack blocks, at most 3 tiers can group blocks of similar shape

I had a lot of hard thinking tasks today. all work no play makes.. . Anyway I had two meetings, one at around 2pm-2:45pm with a vendor/partner/client and another such at around 8pm. I am Epicly Tired. I also had another serious meeting regarding strategy. I also made a spreadsheet that is spiraling out of control Damn I have to make time to get an Ultra Sound for my Liver. Maybe wed... I don't know. Right now I'm just unimaginably swamped and miss my family: wife and son. Good thing his grandparents are there, because I can't be. I really want to just take a break and play with him. Going through the list of tricks he has to learn. Being a dad is weird sometimes. I get really mixed feelings because I still feel some of the same kind of fears I had when I was younger. Of course my concerns are more grown up, but the feelings are the same. There is little change that comes with certain emotions, although some begin to feel much stronger. I'm this little guys dad, ...

Oh my Goodness. I used the stuff I learned and averted a disaster. So now I feel great at the same time scared it will turn around to make things worse. But that is a superstition: I need to celebrate this win, I need to remember it. I stopped a mob from occurring. I hope people remember what I did and hope to credit such a LUCKY move. I know I did think about it, but there are factors beyond my controll even when there was some rational and empirical information in my decision to act. Acknowledging such a lucky even all i can hope for in the many depressing and sad instances in my life. I quickly was able to identify many of the risk and actually THOUGHT THINGS THROUGH! OMG I freaking though one step ahead, it was AMAZING. I'm so shortsighted and so confused most of my life but one clear and clever action is something I've always been hoping to achieve. its like me playing my own RPG, and the opportunity presented itself and I acted with the cunning an Old School gamer c...

Niko is a little delayed. he should have a word by now. Right now we are TV deprived, we can't watch anything because every time we have with him we have to drill him in his "tricks" Bless "Up Hear" (Appear) "head, shoulders knees and toes...." Say Mamma or Dadda (He can't yet) I just want to go home and forget all this has happened and play with my little boy. We cut his hair sunday, my wife hated it. I loved it. Now its growing on her. There is that existential realization that keeps recurring that he is my son, we intended to have him, and we have him. He will be a grown person one day, and he will probably call me out for my faults as often as I call him out for his. We will have arguments, and he will have that stubbornness I and my wife share. He is my little boy, made out of me and my wife. It is just so amazing how he is us and something else entirely. all those thoughts harmonize into one single feeling of joy when I see hi...

He's now trying to discredit everything I say. I just look forward to the end of this, I wish I didn't have to deal with such people but that is the nature of life. Since it is out in the open that I will not be alone with him, because I don't trust what he has to say or what he will do, I'll always have someone accompany when i am with him. Its an odd thing, this matter of trust, particularly since we want to be least bias as possible. At least with manpower I have enough people who can say otherwise. I'm still feeling the aftereffects of adrenaline. I hate it, i'm off balanced and cognitively handicapped. I'm not as forward thinking as I'd like to be. My experience with this lack of foresight is always bad. I want lose myself making ship calcuations. This is my little cry for help.

"I cannot want to be alone in discussion with you because I want there to always be a witness" . I lost my cool, how can I: lying to me is a thing that gets me frustrated and I cannot hold my temper anymore. Good thing it was an emotional outburst that occurred in an informal setting. It wasn't a calculated move, it was a moved forced mostly because he was destroying the reputation of people around him. Innocent people who had nothing to do with the matter, he skillfully found a way to assign blame too. I've lost my sense of justice when I learned about how complicated the world works, but I did learn to care about people and assigning blame to the innocent hits my heart cords pretty hard. I know I looked stupid, childish and inexperience with the outburst. I'm guilty of breaking my mother's golden rule: never make enemies. Even if a person is a monster, you appease these monsters and my mother has survived just barely dealing with such. I am still young ...

So i have to deal with a lot of problems today. My brain is bogging down by the amount of stuff I'm juggling and I don't even have time to fantasize. Many instances in the day, I find myself doing something I fell like I wouldn't have known to do last year.  its a sensitive matter of HR and Labor. So I'm surprised at my ability to play by the book, and it has a familiar feel to me because I'm tapping into my rules lawyery self, being precise, accurate and making double and triply sure.  There is that problem of honesty that hangs in the situations I am in. Someone is saying something not completely accurate, and this is something I understand they should know better. I fell they are exploiting what should be a blind side to my experience but the fundamentals holds true: do what you are told and when in doubt: ASK!  document  Have more than one witness who can swear to another perspective regarding the events and don't get into something you can avoid...