gamer pig test blog

Here at work . there is a party later for the global launching. Anyway, I've tried to post a couple of times and always something happens and I lose what I've written out which happens to be very long. I want to rest right now and play computer but I can't.

eating apples. I remember how it was to bite into an apple and ravage it at my pleasure. I used to be fond of apples as a kid. I was also fond of what I was able to gnaw, chew and bite with my teeth. despite them being twice broken. the memory of eating apples, unfortunately, will just remain a memory. even tho I can afford my own apples and can by the really nice and crunchy ones, my jaw condition will give me sleepless pain. that has been the theme of growing up towards my 30s. A lot of things have been more painful or uncomfortable to bear compared to when I was much younger. no more pizza eating contests with my brother gaspar, no more maxing out buffets, no more junk food, inbetween meal snacks, and no more cooking ultra rich cheese drowned dishes. Worry is my new snack these days. it keeps me chewing and grinding my teeth, even in my sleep. Experience a funny way of substituting the power of knowledge with powelessness of reality. this is the year I turn 30 and i'm surprised...

hard lessons. in my personal philosphy ambition is ok. failure is also ok as well. I've had enough regrets and had learned to take opportunities when i'm ready or not (especially if this opportunity is not available long). lessons i've been learning plenty these days. i'm more cautious but i'd rather have the rashness to try than the meekness to let the opportunity go by. i've learned certain delusions are neccessary or helpful. failures are not so bad in fact depending on how long term your point of view and plans are, they are setbacks. sleep apnia. 1:5 people are genetically predisposed. 1:6 take measures to fix it. 2 friends have it. anyway later nalang.

Ubuntu . I'll help prove it and i'll help many people proving it. The people who can afford it can have their windows, for the rest of us, we will have Ubuntu. Starting New Projects . This business thing should be easy to the smarter people I know... although strangely luck has a lot to do with it. Money I think is a matter of luck, and being really lucky might be highly more advantageous than intelligence. One thing I learned is to expect failure. In fact failure is part of the process, which strangely doesn't make it a failure. Strangely I'm actually thinking ahead. I don't normally think in advanced, but knowing how this thing works now, I can't help but think ahead. What i have learned is telling me to be ready to pay for a number of tries till I get it right. This new project that has got my juices flowing is a perfect seed for me to attain all my ambitions at the same time fulfill many of my aspirations. At this point I'm viewing it more real than ever...

i'm here in shang ri la meeting pat. last night. I had a bad dreams last night. I guess it has something to do with proving myself. I have a bad habbit of talking about family wealth- but that not a big surprise considering how wealthy a school a came from but not being of the same crust. damn I have to stop that but it will take a while to shut myself up. I can't change the insecurity I had growing up with that chip and I like the ambition it fuels. anyway on our way to claw daddy.

damn. there is no way for me to upload pics with the mobile version. oh well. gurps mass combat is out. planning to use an e credit card to buy it after this project. dizzy. it was dark in the place I ate in. Lamp shade bulbs was used, I think 5 wat bulbs and no windows. really dark, It made me dizzy. ok. I have to stop i'm here at fridays with the guys.

My day . It takes me over an hour to go to work and go home. the audio books are indispensible and keeps me glued to my seat even when I do get home or work. In the center of the matter is how late it gets and how much time I have left at home before getting tired enough to sleep. Lately I've been waking up very late and going to work late. Thankfully, I'm just rendering and preparing a special effects for a new animated CG intro. Right now, I've just had my lunch and spent most of my time in idle reading, one of my few catharsis. Later, I have a meeting later with a friend for possibilities finding a larger market for 3d. In the worst case senario, I network and meet someone new on the best case senario I have my next big project that might give me enough reason to invest in a full time 3d Artist. In synergy Ateneo de Naga is offering 3d Services that may come in very usefull if we need more people to fill the project's requirements. Although i don't mind the worst...

well not exactly. I have to make out a report tonight. I've been feeling like staying home and bumming lately. a gross break from my usual intensitiy. clearly i'm still 'broken' and need a proper vacation. too bad all my friends who came from abroad to vacation here will be gone by then. that's just a real bummer. maybe if I succeed in this i'll be comfortable enough to visit them for a change. so many projects in line. all of them exciting me. even the short mba related courses are exciting me. i've gotten a simple system in aquiring and retaining knowledge. transforming them into games in my mind is like the way people remember better with songs. I just need to get this project to work. I need to last a little longer. i'll pull it off because I've learned that the delusion of optimism is more practical than demoralizing fear and depression. hopefully I can maintain this delusion long enough... then possibly i'll kick ass.

Arson . Actually I finished writing my blog on the walk to the car it just got deleted when I got a call. I wanted to post at least a bit before . Work . I'm a day behind so I have to catch up now. Reinstalling a bunch of stuff cause Vista is being a Pain. Ubuntu Again . Part of my Job is learning new programs. I guess that is why I'm pretty stubborn to learn other new things. I have already a lot of things that I need to learn. I'm getting POed with Vista and after learning that 3ds Max supports Linux, that is one more point towards linux. Towards a linux dominant community . What you pay for in Linux is the Service. The creators of Linux intended for a very stable system that got improvements on demand and when companies that could afford it needed it. Compared to Windows which is the Dominant IT service, the Linux service is hard to come by and harder still to make-compatible with pre-existing Windows Tech. The power of Linux is held by the IT, not some single corpora...

burned out because of fr and panic. today I learned a new way to burn out. anyway i'm driving and if someone calls while I type this post will be wiped clean :( anyway i'll try to post more soon.

didn't get much sleep. kept having bad dreams of what may happen at work today. anyway a lot of things to do. and I hope I finish on time. I can't access the internet to fix some problems and check on some files. anyway I hope I can keep my head on straight for the problems to come.

hope this works, which means I can blog with just my phone.