Understanding Problems

What pisses me off is when in a bad situation the other party I'm with doesn't want to try to understand what went wrong. This leaves me alone and mostly at fault in the situation. At the point the other party ceases to care or want to understand the problem, it becomes my problem.

Its frustrating because in the end, I'm the one who has to come out as "understanding" in something that takes more than just my own effort to communicate. I'm the one who ends up being appearing unhurt because I'd rather "coldly" figure it out that give into emotions that prevent me from thinking about the situation.

I get angry, and the emotion organizes responses of probing and aggressive answer seeking. Emotions are organizing and irrational, but you can't remove them from the equation and they essential to build a motivation for a course of action. In this case, I can be angry at my self and my own failure and seek to correct my self by building up narratives as to why I failed or erred, and by conditioning an automatic programed response.

I've become a bit more "cold" but it is the toll for a more rational response to these painful situations. To be more cold about things is to be answer back when someone is trying to take advantage of generosity or good nature. To think quickly and call on several problem solving skills, painfully learned, requires an adequate mental state.

To be cold is to be villain in a situation you were just trying to fix, with parties who would rather you figure things out than share the load.

Thinking the best of other people. Sometimes when good people come to conflict it is because they fail to remember that the other party has the best intentions and are sacrificing their own happiness at near "empty" as well. Thus that little bit more sacrifice just pushes too far. Its very much like two parties over-extending themselves, just a little more can cause both to come crashing down.

I always remember that both parties are trying their best to be accommodating, it is hurtful when the other party starts making assumptions the other is not doing the best they can. This is pretty much the story of internal team conflicts, that shred of doubt that they are not doing their share.

Working with the assumption that all is good is a bit naive, but there are ways to guard one's back to it. Eventually there are protocols that arise that make certain transparencies. Now, as to these conflicts, nothing like communication to fix things... the only real problem is if the other party is willing to work it out to.

At this point, the party who doesn't want to cooperate can screw the other party for being guilty/the cause of the problem. By their own reason, since they are too hurt, and the party who reaches out is not as Hurt, it can be assumed the less hurt party is at fault/guilty.


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