Wish i had Internet at Home.

We inherit crap from our parents. I think the reason why I grew to resent my parents is because we see the crap they inherited and how from my point of view as their child, didn't see the history that has caused it all.

Mom has a tendency to cast me in a bad light in front of people. It happened in a party, I think I blogged it before. But it happened again with my new boss. My wife is the one telling me that she probably doesn't mean it, and my experience with people is that people grow up not to say sorry in harsher environs.

I can't see my mom ever apologizing for that, simply cause in the authoritative style of parenting they grew up with and is ingrained to them because of even their belief system, there is nothing to apologize for. Not that an apology is needed, its just that I think its going to be a habit and it really damages my credibility when I dealing with another person when talking about business for the benefit of the family (no good reason to shoot down an ally).

My improved point of view, one that is developed to avoid Recency Effect is to let a series of actions from the longest time scale view influence my opinion instead of the most memorable one. Not one action makes one a saint or the devil, of course there are things that lead to such great falls.

Not sleeping much, Its harder to get past certain events. Right now, the company is having its own Horus Heresey. the betrayal is quite stern, and in the middle of it: a man. It is an equal opportunity world after all. So i have a problem going to sleep when events replay themselves over and over again, and over-analysis sets in.

With sleep, of course my mental resources would be more abundant and my ability to see what is going to happen next a little earlier than too late. But thats the hand we're dealt with, and if i were to find a way out of this mess I need the advice of trusted friends who are not as muddied with sleeplessness and emotional investment.


"Poopiness". Sung to the tune of Skin's Faithfullness. Poop is on the mind of parents overly paranoid about their 11 day old child. Well poop and pee. He's slowly finding things to smile about, unfortunately it is in the places between sleep and being awake.

Off to write a business plan. I wish I had more sleep. :(


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