Seeing my boy's face; my Quirks: Charging into things

Wow, its pretty real now. I really have someone who's forced to carry my genetic material LOL. Hope he can overcome all the little neurological quirks that come with parents.

Self Programing. In the Lecture: The Passions, Intelligence of Emotions by Prof. Robert Solomon I've come to think more closely about how decision making works in emotions. I've conditioned myself to respond to certain things with a different emotion. Now I've come to realize that One can hone or refine a cruder emotion when we are conditioned to frame, for ourselves, reason to feel something else.

In the lectures I realized that I've been framing my internal dialog, convincing myself of different and more successful course of action or emotion. My wife finds my emotional responses weird and strange, and this highlights how much it such programming and self improvement is very very rare.

My extremism or how I rush into the conclusions of my new assumptions is a character trait that is remarked on both my best friend and my wife. I see it as curiousity, the urge to min/max, the desire to find limits is what fuels any disposition to see how far an idea would go.

Testings ideas by pushing them really hard, is a very interesting strategy. Fear of being wrong, of doing damage, or acting on misguided information can motivate a very quick and practiced flow of thought that begins to see how robust ideas can be.

Where my mind goes. One thing this tendency to let one's mind explore the dark, dirty and disgusting thinking about how I will respond with worse case scenario. I admit, if anything happened to my family, I will go mad: I can't forget what happened to move on, at the same time since they are part of who I am, there is this part of me that will die along with them.

I guess thats acceptable, especially when i consider the lecture I'm currently listening too. I can really love them if I don't stake my entire sanity and life on them. Morbid but true.


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