Depression

I'm not depressed, I've got a baby on the way... I'm excited. Although my brother is pretty depressed and I know where he is comming from, I have the scars to prove it.

I have to convince my mom to let him go his own path... problem is he doesn't have any self-sufficiency skills because of the odd jobs they make him do. So in the end, my bro is unfulfilled.

My dad is a bit of a user, thats where I get that tendency (which I've mostly delt with). He likes to be serve and someone else do the work. In his experience, doing things himself is limited to having the right people meet and the work that follows... He is my brothers burden and its what I want him to lose and give him a chance to find what he wants.

Dad got my bro in Human Resource, a course which is worth only a remedial course in other degrees. It was VERY STUPID and the reasoning was very "get-rich quick" because "Humans can never be obsolete" thinking was severely flawed in too simplistic. Bro is barely holding it together... so I want him here with me.

I'm honestly not going to make him do what he doesnt want to do. Of course I'll get him into airsoft, its GUNS! one of his childhood loves. We don't need someone to pick up after us, nor are we the type who are need looking after. I just want him an invironment where Duties and Obligations are drowned out, where he can hear his own voice for once and know what he really wants.

Let that voice get stronger and clearer, so that he can be self sufficient. In the house my wife and i, he doesnt have to follow up on any obligation or duty. He's free to entertain himself (we have 3 computers). He can use this one! Anyway I think thats what he needs. Family obligations being forced on someone so long that they are forced to forget what THEY REALLY WANT FOR THEMSELVES is a terrible kind of familial relationship.

I had to be a dick to be easier to live with, but I'd never be able to hear myself think without being obstinate enough to not listen and let them drown out my own wishes. Going too long without fulfilling one's own desires is like a Prison. My brother needs a chance to live and love life, not to see it as so much work he would rather end it.

I better call mom later and ask her if he can come home with them. I've talked to my wife and he really can stay with us anyway. Even call-center job is better than the prison he's living, at least he would really feel his own feet touching the ground and holding him up.

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