Foot in my Mouth, or some anatomical impossibility

Got to talk to my best man. I really screwed up, really really screwed up. :( Public apologies to my friend who saw my really nasty side. Sigh, I've burned enough bridges to know that If i want to be "normal" and amicable then I have to vent this sh*t out properly and let time run through. I'm not even defending my own points I made, I can be very tempestuous and totally irrational that I KNOW that I am wrong. thats why i don't use real names. I know I'm wrong but it takes some time for me to come around and its just shocking that I really put my foot up my ass.

I feel soo bad, as my best friend put it, its like my mom caught me shaking the sheriff bad. I just feel sooo bad :(( Well, on the bright side, it over, I learned something and have a bad enough memory to BURN the lesson into my subconcious. I'm not going to stop ranting of course, I'm just going to be less sloppy about it. I'm perfectly happy that the knowledge of this blog is not going to get any more around. I'm quite happy at its accessibility but i'm not going to take any steps to make it more search friendly other than for my own purposes. the Universe knows I have some little bad posts out there just floating around that hasn't been tucked away in draft mode.

Anyway, it just reinforces how imperfect I am, against my own convoluted concepts of honor. Thank my good fortune that some friends are very forgiving and understanding. I can strike pretty painfully and be very very irrepairably callous, because my imagination tends to play out the worse thing I can do in the situation reflexively and that scares the living crap out of me enough to freeze me in panic sometimes. I'm just happy that things turned out the way they did now... still I'll be pretty shaken up about it for a while.

I guess thats pretty good, I'm sure if I can learn to handle future fubars like this better I can be ready for a kid of my own.

Agatha Christie. One of the best things to read when bored or when waiting for something. Although I have to say it is a bit dry. I was able to read the moving finger and I found the story nice and quaint despite the valid criticisms found in the wiki. I have to say that the criticism were all true in my own opinion about the work, but it doesnt matter because the story is still enjoyable.

Knight templates. I've created some interesting Knight templates in My Byzantine project page. Unfortunately these are tempaltes that would be only useful if I was the GM. My overspecialization of Byzantine and Medieval knowledge can be a tad annoying to a point of predictablility. I know I'm predictable in that way and I like the advantage of things being of that way.

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