The echoes
Lately i've become more political in the work place. Well, political in the sense that I've become to make bureaucratic moves to systemize and fix some of the company's deficiencies without stepping on so many toes. I've had a long talk with my dad and trying to work out his frustrations. He is a very religious man, there are things that cannot be understood by religious views in particularly the compromise of point of views.
The one of the primary disciplines of secularism is the understanding of how a belief structure works in creating the psychological foundations in any person. Even a secular has his own belief system, but understanding that we have very seperate beliefs and could work in some compromise to benefit mutually is what being secular can do compared to any particular faith. Being, unbound by dogma creates flexibility, others may cite flexibility as a weakness or having no religion as a kind of failure, but we don't have a religion we have principles.
Anyway, continuing about my father: well talking to him about his diminishing role in the company and his own deprecating view of himself because of my mother's unbending will is pretty sad. This is a problem with unyielding or inflexible points of view (or un-empathic) there is no concept of balance. An example of that point of view is that there is No-expremes in mental aspects. My mother believes that the mind can do anything, that it has no limits just will. This is false, very false if you consider that it assumes many things and how things work. You do not see people who master everything at once, even in our life we can only tackle only one priority, and others all fall under the sequence. This kind of belief is a symptom of how expectations of how others should be can be unrealistic and potentially destructive in what I see in my parents.
My father told me of a story of his own fathers while he was 15, that would be in the mid 60s. My grandfather, the man the Lechon and Store is named after was a virtual slave to his wife. The relationship strangely echoes to my father's lower tier position to my mother. So much was my grandmother and her temper and extreeme views that she drove him to pour gasoline on a car he bought after all that hard work. You can't blame either of them for such conflicts, even the church is ill equiped to handle such complexities of relationships.
My grandmother and many poeple whose generation is at their 80s came from a time where there was no security and to not work was to die poor. This was happening in their own household, when my lola's sister just got sick and spiraled to financial ruin. She died peniless, loveless, alone and painfully sick. That was their time, and every ounce of human emotion and ability was focused in making money. People overlyspecialised to become machines and threw away what humanity they couldn't afford to keep.
On his deathbed, my grandfather wanted to say sorry to my dad. He wanted to tell him about his other family. My dad, didn't want to hear it, angrily. My dad already knew that my grandmother drove his own father away to another woman's arms. They were imperfect and they lived with it, continually struggling to come to grips with catholic expectations with human imperfections. He doesnt understand that it was only in this era, where things are much easier, happiness much accessible were people able to control themselves and actually touch to the unachievable expectations.
Its a very sad story, but I don't want to forget about it. My father lived a very transparent life because they just wanted to do well and to be able to live a good life. Although growing up the reality in the feudally stratified country is very different from the values my father lived and I grew up in. I find myself playing the courtier and making up strategems to politely correct things, not to trick anyone but because people need their belief structure intact for their peace of mind as they change to better suit productivity.
The most essential thing about changing people I've been learning is that you cannot change them, BUT you can give them a goal to change/ to adapt towards.
Slowly I'm not a believer of intelligence or any talent what so ever. I begin to see things so differently now because I think it is all circumstances that affect us, not even genetics. Given my extensive expereince with my conflicting views with my family I've understood what is genetics and what is environment. I'm on the side of envrinoment affecting intelligence and having just sound genetics (meaning no genetic abnormality) being the least effect on it (which has basis on the fact that mutations are too random and too slow). The increase of intelligence is from the increasing effectiveness of family culture is conflict resolution, enhancing motivations, and more realistic and workable values. Genetic is the slowest imporving element and an after-the-fact when you consider evolutioni equates success to a genetic trend.
So when I'm walking around the more depressed areas, I begin imagining people how they would be if they had a chance at education, good health and a fulfilling career. The old man peddling useless wares being a successful marketing planner, with a middle class quality of life, a house with annoying teenage kids, a vacation around south east asia or a local beach now and then, juggling home and work, and incredibly productive in raising his family and working with his community.
I was just in Quiapo getting my airsoft gear and I was wondering how several of these kids would be if they were placed in welfare and a good school. Even with a painful past, people have are very resilient and move quickly to make a better life in stark contrast of their more tragic memories. Even the crook in the streets, would just look so different if everones act would get together. Who knows what kind of happiness people may want forthemselfs and for others if they only had the chance the middle class had. Everything the lower class envies about the upper class will be gone, people will just be people and work will be fun. A real country for once, and incredible competition and source of innovation.
The only way to get that is with highly calculated strategic action that do not upset the current order but paints it in a corner. You cannot change the current order, infact you have to have a "pretense" of maintaining it in order so that they will not see your actions for what they are. I don't condone any action that steals from the poor, even indirectly. If the poor suffers then that action is not viable. So definitly in my strategy, the politico SOP of "fund raising" is out of my table, but enterprise is and it fits in my strategy. Unfortunately my parents are still blocking that, I have less than a month to make a better strategy to work my way around their barriers.
I know my mother will block it, as Game Theory has taught me (better than Machiaveli) there is more for her to lose when I leave than for her to stay. I have to probe and move pieces, of course I have to make sacrifices. Like basically my overall job performance. A calculated move, especially when I am TOTALY bored at work and I can't blog there as easily or as freely.
Anyway, I'm learning bureuacratic manuvering. I'll learn what I can and practice it in more things I can find so I can ingrain it in my foundational cognitive process. Basically hard code it so that I don't forget it. It will come usefull again and again, and its the basics for people who don't want to get into understand more of Law. Law is just the complex iteration of it.
Anyway I need to get my haircut.
The one of the primary disciplines of secularism is the understanding of how a belief structure works in creating the psychological foundations in any person. Even a secular has his own belief system, but understanding that we have very seperate beliefs and could work in some compromise to benefit mutually is what being secular can do compared to any particular faith. Being, unbound by dogma creates flexibility, others may cite flexibility as a weakness or having no religion as a kind of failure, but we don't have a religion we have principles.
Anyway, continuing about my father: well talking to him about his diminishing role in the company and his own deprecating view of himself because of my mother's unbending will is pretty sad. This is a problem with unyielding or inflexible points of view (or un-empathic) there is no concept of balance. An example of that point of view is that there is No-expremes in mental aspects. My mother believes that the mind can do anything, that it has no limits just will. This is false, very false if you consider that it assumes many things and how things work. You do not see people who master everything at once, even in our life we can only tackle only one priority, and others all fall under the sequence. This kind of belief is a symptom of how expectations of how others should be can be unrealistic and potentially destructive in what I see in my parents.
My father told me of a story of his own fathers while he was 15, that would be in the mid 60s. My grandfather, the man the Lechon and Store is named after was a virtual slave to his wife. The relationship strangely echoes to my father's lower tier position to my mother. So much was my grandmother and her temper and extreeme views that she drove him to pour gasoline on a car he bought after all that hard work. You can't blame either of them for such conflicts, even the church is ill equiped to handle such complexities of relationships.
My grandmother and many poeple whose generation is at their 80s came from a time where there was no security and to not work was to die poor. This was happening in their own household, when my lola's sister just got sick and spiraled to financial ruin. She died peniless, loveless, alone and painfully sick. That was their time, and every ounce of human emotion and ability was focused in making money. People overlyspecialised to become machines and threw away what humanity they couldn't afford to keep.
On his deathbed, my grandfather wanted to say sorry to my dad. He wanted to tell him about his other family. My dad, didn't want to hear it, angrily. My dad already knew that my grandmother drove his own father away to another woman's arms. They were imperfect and they lived with it, continually struggling to come to grips with catholic expectations with human imperfections. He doesnt understand that it was only in this era, where things are much easier, happiness much accessible were people able to control themselves and actually touch to the unachievable expectations.
Its a very sad story, but I don't want to forget about it. My father lived a very transparent life because they just wanted to do well and to be able to live a good life. Although growing up the reality in the feudally stratified country is very different from the values my father lived and I grew up in. I find myself playing the courtier and making up strategems to politely correct things, not to trick anyone but because people need their belief structure intact for their peace of mind as they change to better suit productivity.
The most essential thing about changing people I've been learning is that you cannot change them, BUT you can give them a goal to change/ to adapt towards.
Slowly I'm not a believer of intelligence or any talent what so ever. I begin to see things so differently now because I think it is all circumstances that affect us, not even genetics. Given my extensive expereince with my conflicting views with my family I've understood what is genetics and what is environment. I'm on the side of envrinoment affecting intelligence and having just sound genetics (meaning no genetic abnormality) being the least effect on it (which has basis on the fact that mutations are too random and too slow). The increase of intelligence is from the increasing effectiveness of family culture is conflict resolution, enhancing motivations, and more realistic and workable values. Genetic is the slowest imporving element and an after-the-fact when you consider evolutioni equates success to a genetic trend.
So when I'm walking around the more depressed areas, I begin imagining people how they would be if they had a chance at education, good health and a fulfilling career. The old man peddling useless wares being a successful marketing planner, with a middle class quality of life, a house with annoying teenage kids, a vacation around south east asia or a local beach now and then, juggling home and work, and incredibly productive in raising his family and working with his community.
I was just in Quiapo getting my airsoft gear and I was wondering how several of these kids would be if they were placed in welfare and a good school. Even with a painful past, people have are very resilient and move quickly to make a better life in stark contrast of their more tragic memories. Even the crook in the streets, would just look so different if everones act would get together. Who knows what kind of happiness people may want forthemselfs and for others if they only had the chance the middle class had. Everything the lower class envies about the upper class will be gone, people will just be people and work will be fun. A real country for once, and incredible competition and source of innovation.
The only way to get that is with highly calculated strategic action that do not upset the current order but paints it in a corner. You cannot change the current order, infact you have to have a "pretense" of maintaining it in order so that they will not see your actions for what they are. I don't condone any action that steals from the poor, even indirectly. If the poor suffers then that action is not viable. So definitly in my strategy, the politico SOP of "fund raising" is out of my table, but enterprise is and it fits in my strategy. Unfortunately my parents are still blocking that, I have less than a month to make a better strategy to work my way around their barriers.
I know my mother will block it, as Game Theory has taught me (better than Machiaveli) there is more for her to lose when I leave than for her to stay. I have to probe and move pieces, of course I have to make sacrifices. Like basically my overall job performance. A calculated move, especially when I am TOTALY bored at work and I can't blog there as easily or as freely.
Anyway, I'm learning bureuacratic manuvering. I'll learn what I can and practice it in more things I can find so I can ingrain it in my foundational cognitive process. Basically hard code it so that I don't forget it. It will come usefull again and again, and its the basics for people who don't want to get into understand more of Law. Law is just the complex iteration of it.
Anyway I need to get my haircut.
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