Gaming Burn Out
I havent been gaming. I've been working on and off the long week end and was only able to relax while watching family guy season 7. My burn out came from trying to finish as many of my notes as possible. I had a lot of ideas and I had to write them all down and analyze them. Among them, many were promising (Theoreticaly) and I can't wait to experiment and proove them right.
Right now, I'm burned out. While waiting to render I always do some game writing and it takes me away from worrying too much. As I write this I'm watching the computer render a single frame and it would probably take it 2hours for this particular frame. I have 5 frames to go after this and won't know the results till tomorrow :(. All I can do is watch it and hope it doesnt crash.
Yesterday i was able to set it all up, unfortunately the computer crashed. I can't tell how, but most likely its a ram limitation. I probably have to spend 4k for 2 2G ram slots. Then there is the 3rd rendering node that has to be 64 bit, thats another 15k worth of expenses. Calculating how much I'm eating up, I'm at around 300k total in equipment and software expenses.
Talk about pressure.
Knowing what generals do with their millions. My wife and I was able to take a view of one of those really nice subdivisions up in Quezon, near katipunan and they were breath taking. The house and lots would cost at least 10M each. One particular modern house was 3-4 stories high. My doubts about the extra level was because of the high angled roof which might serve as a really nice study area for its interior and the deduction of an underground parking area because of the sheer size of the structure and the need to have a very deep foundation.
At around 20-30M a year to purchase a general (which may include trickle down money for subbordinates), it is quite easy to see why they need so much money. Being alpha and luxury concious people, maintaining their standard of living is requiring themselves to buy new stuff for themsleves and their family.
It makes me very aware of why I take offense at seeing such luxury. When my mom saves and scrimps everything and makes the money she makes, she is undoubtedly more honest and more noble than certain peoples. I just get wierded out, sorry... more of heavily offended at such opulence. I have chinese friends who were very well to do but have homes that contrast the money they make annualy.
Don't get me wrong, its not a matter of humility. Its a matter of TRUTH. When the wealthy people I know live so humbly, its not because they are HUMBLE, but because they make their money honestly and they know their limits (and know they can be kidnap targets). To spend money in a way where one seems to ignore the recession not only advertises that they have nothing to fear (because they are either immune or profit from kidnappers) and their money doesnt fall in the HARD EARNED category.
Still it pisses me off ALOT when I see that If I'm harder working than the next guy, If I ever come to a point of wealth I would lose sleep at night thinking that I live in a soical order that if someone knew I made money, irregardles of my honesty, I or my loved ones will be kidnaped.
Retreat or Bribery is not anymore a choice of action. You want this threat to END. You do that from learning your history and Know what they did to end those threats. And despite the fear of your loved ones, someone will have to make that sacrifice and you sons and daughters must learn to fight. Because Fear is, in it self, Slavery. I don't want my children to grow up in a world of fear this country has become.
Right now, I'm burned out. While waiting to render I always do some game writing and it takes me away from worrying too much. As I write this I'm watching the computer render a single frame and it would probably take it 2hours for this particular frame. I have 5 frames to go after this and won't know the results till tomorrow :(. All I can do is watch it and hope it doesnt crash.
Yesterday i was able to set it all up, unfortunately the computer crashed. I can't tell how, but most likely its a ram limitation. I probably have to spend 4k for 2 2G ram slots. Then there is the 3rd rendering node that has to be 64 bit, thats another 15k worth of expenses. Calculating how much I'm eating up, I'm at around 300k total in equipment and software expenses.
Talk about pressure.
Knowing what generals do with their millions. My wife and I was able to take a view of one of those really nice subdivisions up in Quezon, near katipunan and they were breath taking. The house and lots would cost at least 10M each. One particular modern house was 3-4 stories high. My doubts about the extra level was because of the high angled roof which might serve as a really nice study area for its interior and the deduction of an underground parking area because of the sheer size of the structure and the need to have a very deep foundation.
At around 20-30M a year to purchase a general (which may include trickle down money for subbordinates), it is quite easy to see why they need so much money. Being alpha and luxury concious people, maintaining their standard of living is requiring themselves to buy new stuff for themsleves and their family.
It makes me very aware of why I take offense at seeing such luxury. When my mom saves and scrimps everything and makes the money she makes, she is undoubtedly more honest and more noble than certain peoples. I just get wierded out, sorry... more of heavily offended at such opulence. I have chinese friends who were very well to do but have homes that contrast the money they make annualy.
Don't get me wrong, its not a matter of humility. Its a matter of TRUTH. When the wealthy people I know live so humbly, its not because they are HUMBLE, but because they make their money honestly and they know their limits (and know they can be kidnap targets). To spend money in a way where one seems to ignore the recession not only advertises that they have nothing to fear (because they are either immune or profit from kidnappers) and their money doesnt fall in the HARD EARNED category.
Still it pisses me off ALOT when I see that If I'm harder working than the next guy, If I ever come to a point of wealth I would lose sleep at night thinking that I live in a soical order that if someone knew I made money, irregardles of my honesty, I or my loved ones will be kidnaped.
Retreat or Bribery is not anymore a choice of action. You want this threat to END. You do that from learning your history and Know what they did to end those threats. And despite the fear of your loved ones, someone will have to make that sacrifice and you sons and daughters must learn to fight. Because Fear is, in it self, Slavery. I don't want my children to grow up in a world of fear this country has become.
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