Principles are for the Privilaged
No wonder my Lolo stuck out like a sore thumb. Two interesting views come to mind when living in the Philippines: Principles they teach you and the Reality you live in. My Father and My Grandfather (Mother's side) are two very different people but they can be a good example or story for any advice I can give my hypothetical children.
First of (Randomly) lets start with Lolo. Lolo* Ben (Benjamin Nicolo) was born from a wealthy land owning family in Negros. Despite being from Negros he and his family considered themselves Illongo, simply because of the dominant culture of their area (Negros is divided by two languages and two sibling cultures Zegbu'an and Hiligayn'an).
*Lolo = Grandfather
What I took away from my Lolo Ben is his inflexible and unbending sense of principles. My memories of Lolo were plenty and he made sure I was a kid that loved my science and math (math wasn't that successful). I was heavily influenced by his religious beliefs and his code of conduct. Lolo was hard working, hands-on, and never afraid to flex that large mental muscle of his.
Reading "An Anarchy of Families", I realized that Lolo was an Aberration. No one lived like Lolo, no one had the principles like him, or would be unfailing in his devoution like him... it was actually quite absurd to live with such unbending principles because they were impractical in the poverty and chaos of the provinces. I asked my self, why was Lolo so upright or uptight? Well, if you were born privileged then I guess it would make a lot of sense.
So I ask myself: are Principles only for the Privileged and not for everyone else?
Then there is my dad. Lolo Totoy was wealthy, but only later on when dad was much older. For a Filipino family Dad's family did business the way our Chinese neighbors did: they saved a hell-lot, always put much of their money into the business, and worked single mindedly.
Lola was a workaholic, she never took vacations and she started from the humblest beginings (selling rice). She always saved her money, she gave more than a moderate amount to the church, and very little to her children growing up. Lolo Totoy gambled with fighting cocks, he lost alot of money... so much that my Dad hates gambling. All her kids worked at the family business. It was first a grocer and roasted pig (Lechonoan) business, it gave way to a canteen and apartments. Lolo had a street named after him when he owned the rows of apartments that was on it, my best friend's old house was near by.
Dad, hated the business even when lolo actually made a lot of money. Despite growing up with a good education and being the only child to go to the 1st tier school (La Salle), Dad was pretty street. I guess thats why he didn't get along with the more privileged guys in College and at Work. Dad worked so much when he was a kid, it shows in his bones and thats what his high school friends would tell me about him. They'd say he would be gone in X-mass during the peak sales of the Store and Lechon. He drove the truck around for deliveries, knowing Manila pretty well and every road (to a point he is surprised at the many changes that have come since he was in that job). As the eldest he was expected to take over, but he said the business was "barya barya" (Chump change). He had bigger goals...
Still growing up, I'm exposed to the arguments my mom made with the principles she took from her dad and my dad being exposed to the world very early in life. Dad acted like he didn't care about people, from my mom's point of view. In Dad's POV no one cares to begin with.
These two POVs make things so clear for me: Principles are for the Privileged. It may be pragmatist to say it but it's true... but on the same note this is why progress is coming to the Philippines. As the educated class gets bigger and some fall short economically, its hard to have a set of principles NO ONE will enforce. Honesty, Loyalty, and Courage are all luxuries* when you have everything you need. Now that many are able to sympathize how their rights and hard work can be taken away so easily by opportunists more and more people are guarded.
As Information becomes more available and as Ideas and concerns constantly transmitted, we have a growing consciousness that is slowly uniting the country. A consciousness that says "Don't step on my rights or I'll kick your ass. and Give me what is My due." A right i hope everyone will echo very strongly that it will be harder for opportunists to take advantage of Filipino people.
*ask me about all the unrealistic morality crap they taught us in Opus Dei.
First of (Randomly) lets start with Lolo. Lolo* Ben (Benjamin Nicolo) was born from a wealthy land owning family in Negros. Despite being from Negros he and his family considered themselves Illongo, simply because of the dominant culture of their area (Negros is divided by two languages and two sibling cultures Zegbu'an and Hiligayn'an).
*Lolo = Grandfather
What I took away from my Lolo Ben is his inflexible and unbending sense of principles. My memories of Lolo were plenty and he made sure I was a kid that loved my science and math (math wasn't that successful). I was heavily influenced by his religious beliefs and his code of conduct. Lolo was hard working, hands-on, and never afraid to flex that large mental muscle of his.
Reading "An Anarchy of Families", I realized that Lolo was an Aberration. No one lived like Lolo, no one had the principles like him, or would be unfailing in his devoution like him... it was actually quite absurd to live with such unbending principles because they were impractical in the poverty and chaos of the provinces. I asked my self, why was Lolo so upright or uptight? Well, if you were born privileged then I guess it would make a lot of sense.
So I ask myself: are Principles only for the Privileged and not for everyone else?
Then there is my dad. Lolo Totoy was wealthy, but only later on when dad was much older. For a Filipino family Dad's family did business the way our Chinese neighbors did: they saved a hell-lot, always put much of their money into the business, and worked single mindedly.
Lola was a workaholic, she never took vacations and she started from the humblest beginings (selling rice). She always saved her money, she gave more than a moderate amount to the church, and very little to her children growing up. Lolo Totoy gambled with fighting cocks, he lost alot of money... so much that my Dad hates gambling. All her kids worked at the family business. It was first a grocer and roasted pig (Lechonoan) business, it gave way to a canteen and apartments. Lolo had a street named after him when he owned the rows of apartments that was on it, my best friend's old house was near by.
Dad, hated the business even when lolo actually made a lot of money. Despite growing up with a good education and being the only child to go to the 1st tier school (La Salle), Dad was pretty street. I guess thats why he didn't get along with the more privileged guys in College and at Work. Dad worked so much when he was a kid, it shows in his bones and thats what his high school friends would tell me about him. They'd say he would be gone in X-mass during the peak sales of the Store and Lechon. He drove the truck around for deliveries, knowing Manila pretty well and every road (to a point he is surprised at the many changes that have come since he was in that job). As the eldest he was expected to take over, but he said the business was "barya barya" (Chump change). He had bigger goals...
Still growing up, I'm exposed to the arguments my mom made with the principles she took from her dad and my dad being exposed to the world very early in life. Dad acted like he didn't care about people, from my mom's point of view. In Dad's POV no one cares to begin with.
These two POVs make things so clear for me: Principles are for the Privileged. It may be pragmatist to say it but it's true... but on the same note this is why progress is coming to the Philippines. As the educated class gets bigger and some fall short economically, its hard to have a set of principles NO ONE will enforce. Honesty, Loyalty, and Courage are all luxuries* when you have everything you need. Now that many are able to sympathize how their rights and hard work can be taken away so easily by opportunists more and more people are guarded.
As Information becomes more available and as Ideas and concerns constantly transmitted, we have a growing consciousness that is slowly uniting the country. A consciousness that says "Don't step on my rights or I'll kick your ass. and Give me what is My due." A right i hope everyone will echo very strongly that it will be harder for opportunists to take advantage of Filipino people.
*ask me about all the unrealistic morality crap they taught us in Opus Dei.
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