Chills

Feverish dreams. this happens when I'm sick and it really sucks. Basically all the bad juju that i try to forget resurface and give me nightmares when i'm sick. Really strong vivid white knuckled dreams that leave me woozy. Right now I could barely stand upright and my insides feel week and tire very quickly as i put effort on them.

I'm also out of focus. I hate being sick, its my body and mind taking the day off with whatever's left unable to do anything about it. Its my first fever and the year and it happens when i've been pessimistic about the country lately.

I have a good view of the city and I've been looking at the housing developments with no pleasure. In light of recent events (the scandals and corruption taken to new heights by the current administration) i feel the only person who can actually do something is already behind bars.

Strangely the most powerful force of change is a lesser evil: Erap. At least when he plunder he just took $90M of the course of his term compared to the current plunder of the GMA with $300M in just one deal. It is an time ripe for opportunity to plunder: as people put erap in jail they can lobby this deal of $300M without any problem. The current controversy around it is weak. No one is protesting and GMA has banned civil congregation... its like Marcos of my generation. This time its a woman who is proving to the world women can be as greedy and corrupt as men.

Only people with money to rock the boat have already lost and lost a lot of money in their re-election... It wouldn't be so bad if someone just got fed up and killed everyone on top but even then society has been starved, ignorant, desperate and malicious those who would replace them would be clean at first then turn corrupt after a year or two.

Symptoms and Causes. How do you save the Philippines for the long run? I don't think of it in super hero terms I think of it in What I can do realistically. Currently the corrupt trend is escalating. Officials seeking to make more money than their predecessors out of jealous self-Righteousness.

"If he stole $10M how about me, I should get $20M..."

No one wants to point the finger because of fear of being killed and having profited from the corruption before... its escalating and nothing can stop it...

If I had a wish, as escapist and fantastic as it may be, i'd want to save the country. I want her to be strong, well fed, educated, individualist but with a strong sense of national pride, I'd want her to fight for her rights, not to be a subordinate to any outside power, to independent and willful, to remember her heroes and remember her villains even more, to give a sign for the other 3rd worlds that such a cycle evil can end and with our humble beginnings be a testament to the human spirit.

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